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sinfulprayer:

☯vintage☯

"There are 7 billion people on this planet who I have not met,
and 195 countries I have not visited.
Yet I am stuck in this insignificant town,
Being pressured into making decisions about my future,
When I barely even know who I am"

- Unknown (via endangerment)

(Source: lluxuria, via noshirtnobl0use)

Remember this?
Well… most of you followers know what a pain this is to me on a very personal level.
Because this - is my hand.
I had been working on my ‘Infinite’s second anniversary video’ forever and cut out and put out all of the portraits that I’ve made my wall. I also drew heaps of sketches that would fill out even more. I worked so hard on it because for me this video was very important. It was a kind of confession to Infinite and a way to show just how much I love them. I made it as a way to make them proud of us Inspirits, us fans that love and support them recklessly and well… I wanted them to be proud of me.
Truthfully I didn’t really think that they would see it and still today I am pretty sure they don’t even know that it exists. But that didn’t matter too much because just as well as I made this to make them proud - I also made it to make myself proud. I am someone who has a hard time dealing with myself so when putting this video together and actually feeling great about it - I grew as a person.
Therefor it hurt so bad when this was gif:ed without my knowledge and then spread across the internet faster than anything I’ve ever seen - it was like those centimeters that I had grown got cut off. All of my efforts and wants just vanished and left me feeling empty and used. The gif I was staring at wasn’t even of my hand anymore. The art and symbol which had felt so much like mine - had become someone else’s.
I have in many ways moved on, but when thinking about it I still can’t help but to feel a bit sad. Not because of the notes or anything like that - but because that sense of being proud of myself had disappeared and never really returned.
I just wanted to type this out once and for all and let this be a part of me and my blog once more so I want to thank all of those that cared enough to read this all - thank you!
It’s okay if you want to delete the text and just reblog the gif - it’s finally posted from the right source for the first time ever~
Love, your Lotten ♡

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